Do you ever wonder how you got here?  How you arrived to this point in life?  All of the moments you have had, all of the decisions you have made, all of the steps you have taken that have led you to this moment in time? Or have you ever thought about all of the patterns that your brain has subconsciously built throughout your life to influence those decisions? I’ll help you think about the answers to these deep questions if you are willing to spend a moment reading the rest of this article.

Many people have asked me what moment was the most influential for me to leave my successful corporate career and begin traveling the world. It is difficult to pin point the exact moment because it was a series of moments, decisions, steps that led me to walk away from a six figure salary that afforded me a one bedroom apartment in a doorman building on the Upper West Side neighborhood in New York City one block away from Central Park. I even had a car in Manhattan with a garage parking space a block away. I had it made… at least it appeared that way to everyone else.  And I even spent years trying to convince myself that I was happy because of this status. But deep on the inside was a festering unhappiness.

After leaving my career and traveling the world for a year nonstop, I began to conjure up a new company that combines the concept of helping other people heal through travel, just like it helped me. I created this retreat-like experience to give to other people what took me years to go through on my own. A transformation to take back control of my life. I read in self help books, I heard from other people and I even told myself phrases that sound something like this:

“You can do anything you want to do”

“Find something you love to do and it won’t feel like work”

“Life is too short to be doing something you don’t love to do”

I’m sure most of you have heard this or have told yourself this in the past. However the tricky part is that your brain has been trained to think a certain way, feel a certain way, react a certain way, love a certain way, fit in a certain way, work a certain way… I could go on and on. Through a series of millions of moments, your cerebral pathways follow the patterns that it has been trained to follow. 

Your GPS is on Auto-Pilot

It’s like a GPS system: you punch in the destination (in this case you punch in our life) and the map takes you to where you want to go automatically, turn by turn. You rarely zoom out on the full map to see the detailed turn by turn directions. You just trust the GPS system because it has been programmed by very smart people to take you to where you need to go (on auto pilot). This GPS auto pilot is very similar to your life and how you automatically trust your brain that has been programmed (through the series of millions of moments) to get you to where you need to go.

Most of the time, your GPS takes you to your destination in the fastest way. The journey went as planned and you move on with what you need to do at your destination, taking on a new journey. You were on auto-pilot, not really thinking about the present moments and decisions that allowed you to arrive at that moment.

But have you ever experienced something a moment where the GPS system takes you down a path that is a dead end? Or it takes you down a route that is not paved or not ideal to take because you didn’t zoom in enough or flip the map to the satellite view to see the road isn’t a good one to traverse? Since you are in auto-pilot mode, you weren’t paying attention. You just made the decision to go.

It actually happened to me recently as I was driving through the remote Tuscan countryside here in Italy. The fastest route showed that the “traffic” was slower in some areas because the route color turned orange/red but I figured the computer took into account the slowing down for the time to the destination. The paved road turned to the right, which was a slower route on the GPS, and the route ahead of me (the GPS-recommended route) turned into gravel. I was driving a small Fiat 500 (very small car) but decided that it would only be gravel for a short distance.  Thirty minutes later I realized the orange/red color meant slower because the road was not paved the entire way. I feared my car would get a flat tire because I was now driving over larger loose rocks on very steep roads. Only SUVs and larger trucks passed me. I should have stayed on the paved route.

This is exactly what happens in life. Most of us are on auto-pilot, just trusting our internal GPS system to get us to where we are supposed to be. And sometimes that internal GPS takes us down a path that isn’t ideal because we trusted the route (without zooming out).

What Happens When We Run Into a Dead End?

What do we do when life becomes so overwhelming that it feels so difficult to find a way out? Those huge life moments – that could last months or even years or sometimes even a lifetime – when we run into a dead end and feel stuck in life? When we feel trapped?

The interesting part is that our brains have been trained to stay the course and to continue along this path (on auto pilot). While we are able to solve smaller dilemmas we face (like when will I find time to clean my house or what will I do during the weekend), our brains haven’t had the training to handle more complex issues like the following:

• My life hasn’t gone how I hoped and I feel stuck. So how do I get out of it?
• I’ve lost confidence in myself and no longer know who I am
• I had expectations of my life at this point like being married with children (or remaining happily married) but that has not happened the way I expected
• I have a partner and children, but I feel empty and alone
• I trained for a long time for this career or I have this high paying job but I am not happy
• I feel more alone in this relationship that I felt when I was single

For many of us, it may feel too difficult to know how to pull ourselves out of this situation. Our brain pathways have been programmed to continue with the thought process that it has been trained to do. But what if we are now in a situation that we have never been in – nor wanted to be in?

Herein lies the issue: You arrive at what feels like a dead end situation and your brain tries to push forward. And this is the moment that you need to begin re-programming your brain pathway toward a new outcome – an outcome that will lead you down a more fulfilling path. What you need is a life pivot. You need a simple nudge to turn a different direction that will allow your brain to see what is possible instead of feeling stuck or at a dead end.

But how do you do that? What if you don’t have the “tools” to be able to move on?

What Are the Steps to Begin Unlocking Your Life?

The following is the self-discovery process we use during the Pivot Trip experience.

First, you need to admit to yourself that something is “off”. Many people may feel that they are stuck or carry this feeling of unhappiness around with them. But until you admit to yourself that something is off, a better life ahead for you isn’t possible. There is no happenstance moment that will just automatically change this feeling. No pivot fairy is just going to fly into your window while you sleep and leave you the magic key to unlock your life. A conscious acknowledgment is required.

Second, once you acknowledge that you are stuck or unhappy in life, you need to take an action. Yes, action. You need to make a conscious choice to spend time focusing on this part of your life.

If you acknowledged step one, but you aren’t willing to make the decision NOW to focus on your life, then stop reading this article. It makes no sense for you continue reading because you aren’t ready to unlock your time. The rest of this article will be a 10 minute waste of time. Use this time to go back to your busy life on auto pilot.

I’ve heard all of the excuses before:

• I have to keep this job to pay for my mortgage; or to support my family.
• I’m married so I have to stay committed because that is what I was taught to do. I said “for better or for worse”
• I’m just staying in this job because it lays well and I’m saving up to one day …..
• I’m trying to help my partner change (stop drinking, be happier, show them how to love, communicate better, help them give me what I need, etc.). Once this happens, then we will be happier.
• I’ll follow my dreams and travel when I retire
• Only ten more years until I retire
• I’m too old to go back to school and change my career 
• I don’t know how I would make money and support myself if I left my job and created the business I have always wanted to do 
• I can’t travel because I have kids
• I have to stay in this town for my family, even though I am unhappy 

I could keep going but hopefully you see that everything you say that prevents you from following your gut is only an excuse. It’s a way to comfort your fear. And something that most likely will continue to keep you locked up for most of your life.

“But you don’t understand, how will I provide for my children and pay my mortgage if I go and follow my dreams?”

I’m throwing the EXCUSE red flag! You aren’t ready to follow your dreams. Because when you are ready, you will figure out a way to answer these questions, even if you don’t know the answer.  You will find a way to support your children. You will find a way to handle the mortgage. You will find a way to what’s possible.  Until then, your mind wants to stay comfortable to protect you from the fears that have a lock on your life.

Third, once you have admitted to yourself something isn’t ok AND you have made the choice to focus on your life, the fun journey begins. You need to see how you arrived at this point. To understand the pathways you have created throughout your life. This can take years to comprehend and can be difficult to do alone. But having a coach will help speed up this emotionally sensitive process of uncovering the blocks and obstacles you have created for your life. The blocks and fears that hold you back from living the life you dream about.

Fourth, once you make the choice to unlock your life, you need to begin learning new tools that will help create new pathways. But the key with this type of learning is to experience the new tools. Reading about these tools in a book, learning about them in a classroom or in an article, or listening to someone else tell you what you need to do is helpful. But I have found that you need to experience the tools firsthand.

And this is the moment transformation begins to occur. To be able to see some light at the end of the tunnel. To be able to understand that there is a way out and that it isn’t so difficult with continuous practice. And you will see that you have the capability to have what you want, what you desire, what is possible in your life. But you must put in the time to get to this point.

So the next time you feel stuck in life, feel like you have arrived at a dead end or feel overwhelmed with everything going on in your life, begin walking through the steps listed above. Begin learning the tools necessary to unlock your life. Begin thinking about “what’s possible” in your life.

Experience Transformation Firsthand

This GPS dead end feeling is exactly why I have created Pivot Trip. Pivot Trip isn’t only an opportunity to work with and learn from highly qualified coaches who have experienced incredible transformation, but it is also an opportunity to experience the transformation firsthand.

While each trip will provide a life changing transformation and provide the tools needed to unlock your life, each trip is hosted in a unique destination and each itinerary is completely bespoke. This trip isn’t a standard group trip to go sightseeing. Saying yes to Pivot Trip is the moment in your life where you have acknowledged you are stuck and have made the conscious decision to begin the focus on unlocking your life. Your life will never be the same.

Read what some of our Pivot Trip 01 Bali 2019 participants had to say about their personal experience:

“Take your life changing Pivot Trip. Learn and transform into the best YOU mentally, physically, and spiritually. Tap into Pivot Trip guided self tools to live life intentionally with a positive purpose!  Rewire your brain to ROCK your newly rearranged world! Invest in yourself and the truly confident you for the rest of your life!”

— 61 year old female with Stage IV breast cancer

“From once complete strangers to now a chosen family.   Together we locked arms, laughed, shed tears, uplifted and motivated one another, shared our stories, and faced our limiting thoughts beyond our limits.. we faced our fears head on.”

— 48 year old male who recently filed for bankruptcy

We are currently in the process of planning the 2020 Pivot Trips. If you would like to learn more about the experiences, add your information to the form below to be the first to receive the latest updates about our upcoming trips.